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How I Started Investing for the First Time





Some things in life are just begging to be pushed to the end of my to-do list, not to be done until I’m absolutely forced to: filing my taxes, making the appointment to get my yearly skin check, calling maintenance to finally fix my finicky door lock—the list goes on, and for me, finally dipping my toe into investing always had a permanent spot on my to-do-eventually list.

To say I’ve always felt as if I didn’t have enough knowledge to even know where to begin investing is an understatement; I’ve always felt like I didn’t even know what I didn’t know—a notch below “absolutely clueless.” My journalism major ensured I learned absolutely nothing about finance in college, and it felt like—even at 24—I was so desperately behind the pack that it was too late for me to really get a grasp on the stock market.

This year got me to do the things I had been pushing aside because I was busy, and after weeks of writing “START INVESTING” at the top of my planner, I decided it wasn’t something I could push off anymore. Enter: Public.com. Public is an investing social network where investors can own fractional shares of stocks and ETFs, making the barrier to entry significantly lower than other investing platforms. They know that a significant reason why many don’t invest is due to a lack of financial literacy, so they aim to unlock the stock market to a wider range of people through the empowerment of a community where you can learn and grow.

It felt like Public was welcoming my non-experienced self with open arms. Their mission is to make the stock market inclusive and fun, two words that felt like the opposite of other website’s goals. They also incorporate a social media aspect, where members can share ideas and news in a feed with other investors. This meant that I would be able to learn and grow my confidence with the help of other, real people, not just stock experts that I would feel were talking down to me.

After years and years of putting it off, I can finally say that I, Madeline Galassi, am an investor. Here’s where I began, how it all went, and what I learned:

 

*The following is for educational purposes only and is not investment advice.

 





 

Where I began

In partnership with Public, they gave me $500 to begin investing. Once I had my funds in my app, I was prompted to invest in blue-chip stocks like Google and Apple to get my portfolio built. I chose to divide my $500 between five stocks, investing $100 each in Google, Apple, Disney, Amazon, and Visa.

The process was much easier than I had anticipated. I expected to be greeted with hard-to-understand jargon, but Public helped me get my money invested in the stock market immediately, and then I could easily trade and sell my stocks from there, right in the app. 

To decide what to trade, I relied on the social network part of Public to educate myself. I looked at what fellow traders were talking and excited about, which helped me understand which stocks were currently doing well without needing to have the NASDAQ ticker up on my TV all day (or have men on cable screaming about what I should invest in). I learned from real people who spoke in layman’s terms, and it helped me decide to invest in ACN (Accenture Public), something I previously had no knowledge about.

Being able to interact with other, real investors made investing something I actually looked forward to. I checked my app every day and watched my shares go up and down and began to understand why. I felt empowered, curious, and excited—three words I never thought I’d associate with my investing experience.

 

Everything You Need to Know to Start Investing in The Stock Market
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Why fractional shares are a total game changer

My initial investments were toward blue-chip stocks with high buy-in rates, so how did I do it with only $500? One share of Google is currently $2,846, and I obviously didn’t have that to invest, but since Public lets you invest in portions of stocks (what I learned is called fractional shares), I was able to say the exact amount (which could be anything) that I wanted to put toward each stock. This meant that I still got to be an investor in these profitable, reputable companies that give a reliable return to investors, just at a scale that I could afford.

Something I learned quickly was how important being able to invest in fractional shares is to an investor, especially a beginner like me. Blue-chip stocks have extraordinarily high costs per share, which are amounts that someone like me would be uncomfortable investing in to start (and that I simply didn’t have the funds for). But being able to invest in portions of these stocks is important because of their return rate to investors. They consistently grow and make investors money, and by being able to invest an amount I chose, I could reap those benefits without needing to pay the high barrier to entry, which is a win for me.

 





 

I’m constantly learning from real investors

Public.com provides learning resources on their website, which helped answer the questions I had, from the super basic ones to the more in-depth. They had answers to questions I was embarrassed to ask—they even have a page dedicated to answering “what is a stock?”

I made it a goal to read through one question every day for a few weeks, which got me familiar with concepts I didn’t think I’d understand for a while, from what blue-chip stocks are (and look, today I was able to talk about them in my own words!) to understanding index funds. I was able to stick to it because their answers were free from intimidating jargon and instead stuck to terms that I was able to completely understand—and even find interesting—as someone with limited knowledge.

Lack of knowledge about the stock market is something that, honestly, I used to be very conscious about. In my day-to-day life, I’m surrounded by men who know the stock market like the back of their hand, and have been making money off of it for years. My dad has been a life-long investor, and my boyfriend and his three male roommates actually had a point in time where they were competing against each other for how much each could make in the stock market every day. It gave me such a deep, uneasy feeling of being behind, and I never thought I’d catch up to them. But guess who has been joining into the stock banter lately? A girl who used to stay silent throughout every conversation.

 

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How I felt four weeks later

After a few weeks of getting really comfortable, I started to follow some of their guidance and gathered information from other investors on what I might be interested in. I started a running list of stocks I was interested in investing in and watched what other investors were saying about each of them in my news feed.

One of my favorite parts of the app is the “theme” feature. It provides a list of different overarching stock themes, from cannabis to food delivery to even “Women in Charge,” which highlighted companies owned by women, and have lists of stocks to invest in under those umbrellas. I chose to sell one of my stocks and invest in Accenture Public, which is women-led and something I felt excited about making a priority for myself in my investing. It made investing feel more personal to me—I wasn’t copying what investing experts were telling me to do, but I was putting my money toward companies and leaders I truly believed in myself, which makes investing that much more enjoyable for me. 

Investing isn’t one-size-fits-all, nor should it be. There’s no rule that says I only need to invest in the stocks other investors say I should, and with Public, I’m able to learn about what I want to invest in in the future because it interests me. 

 

I learned it wasn’t worth being afraid of

Four weeks ago, the stock market felt like a big, scary thing that I needed a special set of skills to approach. I thought it was going to take me years and years to feel like how I feel right now: I have the basics under my belt and am excited to approach my future as an investor.

When I was given non-intimidating resources, I was able to not only understand investing but also actually enjoy the process and feel pride in doing something with my money—but I honestly don’t think I would have felt this way if I had approached it without Public. Public allowed me to learn and had resources that were meant for someone like me—a complete and utter beginner—and existed to help empower me without talking down to me or expecting me to Google every term they were using in order to understand. It gave me an easy-to-use app, community of like-minded investors, and tools to choose which stocks were the best for me to invest in. After all this time, I finally am an investor, and thanks to Public (and much to my surprise), I even feel confident about it. 

 

How To Invest When You’re Living Paycheck To Paycheck

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Ready to sign up for yourself? Click here for a free slice of stock when you sign up with a new account!

Offer valid for U.S. residents 18+ and subject to account approval. There may be other fees associated with trading. See Public.com/disclosures/.

 





This post is sponsored by Public.com, but all of the opinions within are those of The Everygirl editorial board.

 

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What Successful Women Have In Their Sunday Routine






Source: Vlada Karpovich | Pexels

We’ve all fallen victim to a bad case of the Sunday Scaries. You know what I’m talking about: those days where all you can do is lay in bed and binge an entire Netflix series, feeling sad that the weekend is over and worried about the stressors that Monday will bring. But news flash: the weekend is not over, and how you spend your Sundays can ease a lot of those Monday stressors. In fact, the most successful women know their Sunday routine can make or break their entire week. Read on for eight Sunday rituals that successful women never skip. 

 

1. Clean your home

You might not think you’re a neat freak, but trust me when I say that you will sleep better with the shower cleaned and the dishes put away. Plus, your week will feel so much more manageable when some of those chores you put off (looking at you, pile of dirty laundry) are already taken care of. Clutter in your home leads to clutter in the mind, so a one-hour deep clean or a quick closet reorganization can make a huge difference in not only your home environment, but how you feel for the rest of the week. If those major chores (like organizing the junk drawer) feel overwhelming, start with a quick clean-up of the kitchen (doing dishes and wiping up counters), tidy up the living room (fold throw blankets and stack coasters), and declutter your bedroom (that means putting away the clothes on your “worn-but-not-yet-ready-for-laundry chair–I know you have one!).

 

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2. Map out the week

If your go-to for coping with Sunday Scaries is to completely ignore the fact that work starts again tomorrow, this one is for you. You may think that not acknowledging your to-do list is the best way to deal, but even if hours of Netflix helps you “forget,” you still know Monday morning is coming, leaving you with dread, anxiety, and a whole lot of stress at 9 a.m. the next day. The ideal way to set up your week for success and feel a lot better when Monday morning comes along is to plan out the week in advance. Review your upcoming schedule, add in time to prepare for big meetings or presentations, and include time for when you’ll actually get those things on your to-do list checked off. You’ll feel much more in control and will be better prepared throughout the week. 

 

3. Prep your meals and wardrobe

Speaking of being prepared, another way to help you feel in control of the week ahead is to meal prep and plan out your outfits. We make a lot of decisions every single day, even just within the first few minutes of waking up: whether or not to hit snooze, when to turn on the coffee pot, what to make for breakfast, and what to wear (which is approximately 1000 different decisions). No wonder we all feel exhausted or overwhelmed when we’re required to make decision after decision throughout the work day itself. No matter how big or small, decisions add up–decision fatigue is real.

But good news: you can spend your Sundays to limit your decision making throughout the week. Prep your meals in advance (whether that looks like actually chopping veggies and making easy dishes, or just writing out a plan and making a grocery list) and plan out outfits (including which shoes you’ll pack to transition into happy hour on Thursday). You’ll limit some of the decision fatigue throughout the week so you can spend more time on those really important decisions, but you also might find yourself excited for those meals or that power outfit, instead of dreading the week ahead. 

 

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4. Set goals

Yes, Sundays are not just for self-care or laziness; they can also be for goal-setting. Think about what specific, attainable things you want to accomplish by next week, and how they relate to your bigger goals. For example, if you’ve always wanted to learn piano, add in a goal to practice for a total of two hours by next Sunday. If you wish you exercised more, set a goal to attend three workout classes at any point throughout the week, and then schedule in when they’re going to happen. If you want to be in a relationship, plan to go on one date this week, or if you’re dying for a promotion, set an intention to connect with your boss. No matter what your goals or intentions are, check in with what you want out of life setting them. You’ll feel more excited for your week, but will also feel like you’re making progress towards those huge life goals.

 

5. Unplug

PSA for whoever needs to hear it: you do not have to (and should not) be “plugged in” 24/7. If your weeks feel overwhelming and Sundays are scary, consider doing a temporary digital detox to reduce stress. When we’re constantly bombarded by Instagram, work emails, or even that never-ended group text, we can feel like we’re constantly missing out on something (I like to call it chronic FOMO). Turning off your phone for a few hours helps reduce that overwhelm and can allow you to actually relax. Try a full unplug and turn off all screens to read a book, take a walk with your dog, or do something creative, or just put your phone in the other room while you unwind with your favorite show for a couple hours. 

 

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6. Set Monday morning alarm for a few minutes earlier

I get it: Monday mornings are a rude awakening. That 6 a.m. alarm is probably the last thing you want to hear, and you’re tempted to sleep in until the last second possible to savor the last of your weekend bliss. But hitting the snooze button can lead to a rushed morning so you feel stressed, overwhelmed, and behind before you even start your workday. Instead, set your alarm on Sunday night for 10-15 minutes earlier the next morning. Whether you spend the extra time meditating, indulging in a luxurious skincare routine, or just brewing a cup of coffee with a moment of silence, you will not miss the 10 minutes of extra sleep, and feel much more prepared for the workday and entire week ahead. 

 

7. Read something 

One of the best secrets of successful women? Reading. Many of us have a plethora of excuses when it comes to reading more often. “I’m too tired,” “I don’t have any new books,” and “How am I expected to do anything else in my free time when all six seasons of Sex and the City are on Hulu!?” are excuses I personally use on a regular basis. But reading is not only enjoyable; it’s good for you. Whether it’s winding down before bed, taking a break in the afternoon, or as a way to kick off your Sunday, fit in some time to read during the day to inspire you and help you feel motivated for the week ahead. As for what to read? Check out these inspiring books or books to educate yourself to help you grow in both your success and life goals. 

 

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8. Get your inbox to zero

If your Monday mornings feel like a race against the clock starting the second you wake up, set your week up for success by getting ahead with your emails. While Sundays should feel like Sundays (rather than an extension of the workweek), spending just 10-20 minutes getting some work done will help you start your week already feeling ahead. If emails are a source of stress, tackle your inbox, or if scheduling feels like a tedious task on Monday mornings, plan out your meetings and deadlines the day before. Just think about how good your Monday morning will feel when your inbox is already at zero.

 

9. Have a financial check-in

Self-care doesn’t always mean bubble baths or face masks. Sometimes, self-care means being an independent adult and doing what you can to feel in control of your finances. While having a detailed financial plan and setting goals can help you reduce money-related stress and achieve what you want in life, feeling in control of your finances doesn’t always require a lot of time and energy. Spend fives minutes on Sunday to glance over your bank account and credit card statements. Getting in the habit of frequently checking in can help identify fraud early on and will also give you a good idea of where you’re spending and where you can be saving. Set a financial goal for the week, whether it’s to put a certain amount of cash into your savings account or invest in a course or service that will improve your wellbeing. 

 

Got the Sunday Scaries? Try These 9 Things

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25 Easy Meal Prep Recipes You’ll Make All The Time






Source: The Girl on Bloor

It happens every few weeks without fail. I look up from my laptop as the clock strikes 5:30 p.m. and all of a sudden realize that 1. I have to make something for dinner and 2. I have absolutely no clue what that dinner is going to be. I know I’m not alone in this all-too-regular dilemma, but I can’t help but feel like it says something about my adulting abilities (or, occasionally, lack thereof). Those who meal prep: 1, Lauren: 0.

Even just a loose meal plan and a little forethought can prevent those hanger pains that tend to creep in as I search my refrigerator and kitchen cabinets, hoping that I won’t have to resort to my trusty takeout go-to. Sure, you have to invest a little bit of time up front, but it will all be worth it when you don’t fall victim to those vicious delivery fees.

We’re looking for something quick, we’re looking for something easy, we’re looking for something with maximum flavor—without maximum time spent at the stove. If that’s what you want (or—let’s be honest—need) too, look no further than these 25 easy meal prep recipes. Delicious without being super time-consuming? Check and check.

 

1. Vegan Burritos





Source: Jessica in the Kitchen

 

2. Baked Chicken Caesar Burgers





Source: Lexi’s Clean Kitchen

 

3. Curried Chickpea Cauliflower Bake





Source: Cotter Crunch

 

4. Spicy Italian Sausage and Tortellini Soup





Source: Meal Prep on Fleek

 

5. Black Bean Stuffed Sweet Potatoes





Source: The Girl on Bloor

 

6. Dairy-Free Broccoli Cheese Soup





Source: Orchids + Sweet Tea

 

7. Shawarma Spiced Stuffed Peppers with Tahini Sauce





Source: Abra’s Kitchen

 

8. Smashed White Bean and Spinach Quesadillas





Source: Sweet Peas and Saffron

 

9. Air Fryer Tofu with Honey Garlic Sauce





Source: Hello Spoonful

 

10. Spaghetti Squash Lasagna





Source: By Erin Clarke of Well Plated

 

11. Sweet Potato Black-Eyed Pea Curry





Source: Sweet Potato Soul

 

12. Slow Cooker Garlic Cuban-Inspired Pork





Source: Slender Kitchen

 

13. Meal Prep Thai Basil Chicken





Source: The Girl on Bloor

 

14. Vegetable Soup





Source: Abra’s Kitchen

 

15. Sheet Pan Sausage and Veggies





Source: Isabel Eats

 

16. Mozzarella Pesto Mac and Cheese





Source: Chantell and Brett Quernemoen | My Name is Yeh

 

17. Buffalo Chicken Stuffed Peppers





Source: By Erin Clarke of Well Plated

 

18. Whole30 Breakfast Casserole





Source: Hello Spoonful

 

19. Korean-Inspired Ground Beef Bowls





Source: Lexi’s Clean Kitchen

 

20. Slow Cooker Chipotle Honey Chicken Taco Salad





Source: Sweet Peas and Saffron

 

21. Kale Steak Power Salad





Source: Meal Prep on Fleek

 

22. Crispy Chickpea Salad Kit with Butter Fried Croutons





Source: My Name is Yeh

 

23. Lentil Coconut Curry





Source: Slender Kitchen

 

24. Slow Cooker Mushroom Wild Rice Soup





Source: Jessica in the Kitchen

 

25. Winter Kale Salad





Source: Sweet Potato Soul

 

Do you meal prep? Share your favorite quick and easy recipes below.

 

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Issa Rae Used a $3 Eye Shadow for Her 2021 Emmys Look

close up of issa rae on the red carpet at the 2021 emmysGetty Images

There isn't much about the Emmy Awards that feels relatable. Do you have designers clamoring to loan you a dress, and world-class makeup artists at your beck and call? (For us: No, and sadly, no.) Make a tearful speech in front of a room (or a tent, due to this year's pandemic precautions) filled with celebrities? (Again, nope.) But there is one thrilling way, at least when it comes to beauty, for stars come down to Earth — with affordable drugstore beauty products. On Sunday night, Issa Rae did just that.

The actor, writer, director, and creator of Insecure (which missed the 2021 Emmys eligibility period by a hair) and executive producer/co-star of Black Lady Sketch Show (for which she's nominated for two awards) showed up on the red carpet with a face full of E.L.F. cosmetics as applied by makeup artist Joanna Simkin. 

"The beautiful custom Aliétte [gown] felt like a nod to the '70s, Studio 54, and disco glam," said Simkin in a release. "I was instantly inspired to do a sparkly purple eyeshadow and fluttery lashes to accentuate Issa’s gorgeous features while playing up a bold statement eye."

Issa Rae drinking a mimosa while she gets ready for the 2021 emmysInstagram / Issa Rae

Every single item in Rae's lavender look, including both skin care and makeup, sells for $15 for less — especially impressive when it comes to her lavender eye shadow, which looks like a million bucks. The bold effect comes courtesy of Simkin's handiwork, E.L.F.'s $3 Bite Size Shadow palette in Açaí You, and a coating of $5 E.L.F. Liquid Metallic Eyeshadow across the entire lid. 

Simkin applied the darkest of the four shades in the palette on the outer corners of the eye, then brought them into the crease for a smoked out effect. To keep the look bright, she added the creamy shimmer shade in the center of the lids. 

She finished the bold eye with two "generous" coats of the Best of Beauty winning Big Mood Mega Volume & Lifting Mascara, and Wow Brow Gel to fill in the brows.

Another way Rae is relatable, aside from the affordable makeup bag? She couldn't wait to debut her full look, and posted a teaser from the glam chair — mimosa in hand.

issa rae pulls down one side of her bottom lip to show off a silver grill at the 2021 emmysGetty Images

Once on the red carpet, Rae revealed another key part of her look: a silver grill across her bottom teeth. The tiny bit of shine complemented her full-on glitzy dress from Aliétte perfectly.

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13 Health Experts Share Their Favorite Salad Recipes






Luisa Brimble | Usplash

You might hear “salad recipes” and think of dull greens and boring veggies. But this roundup is not about lackluster healthy food. No, this article is for those who don’t particularly like salads, who don’t believe anything healthy can also be delicious, and who are struggling to keep up with a healthy diet. You see, the true experts know that the key to staying healthy is not to force yourself to eat the same dull foods like chicken and broccoli oryou guessed ita plain salad.

The actual key to sticking to a healthy lifestyle is to turn good-for-you foods into delicious meals that you’ll crave all the time (read: “Salad Pizza”). I quizzed some of my favorite nutritionists, doctors, and all-around wellness gurus for the salads that not only pack a nutritional punch but are also so good that they can’t get enough. Read on for some much-needed salad inspo. Your meals are about to get so much more green.

 

1. McKel Kooienga, MS, RD, LDN, Author and Founder of Nutrition Stripped





“My favorite go-to salad is my Eggs, Beans, and Greens Salad Bowl. Salads can easily be unsatisfying or leave you hungry. This salad uses my Foundational Five system for creating a balanced meal, ensuring you’re consuming the nutrients you need to support digestion, steady energy, sound sleep, clear focus, and long-term health. What I really love about this salad (aside from how easy it is to make) is the homemade dressing, which brings it all together in a really flavorful way. Get the full recipe here.” 

 

2. Berrion Berry, Period Educator, Practitioner, and Founder of The Flo Academy





“I’m obsessed with Caesar salads, but they’re not always the most nutrient dense, so I’ve jazzed it up to be a lot more Flo-friendly and liver-loving. Instead of a traditional romaine for the base, I like to use kale (hot tip: massage the kale to make it easier for digestion). Swap the croutons for roasted chickpeas, add nutritional yeast for cheese, and top with your dressing. I like a dairy-free caesar dressing made with Dijon mustard, lemon, water, and tahini. Mix it all together and it’s the best of both worlds: classic but packed with nutrients.

You can also do a lot with a Caesar salad to make it your own. For example, I have recently been adding Loona Seeds (which are perfect for seed cycling) and it’s taken my salads to the next level. Click here for the full recipe.”

 

3. Dr. Mona Vand, Pharmacist and Digital Creator





“Whether you’re fully plant-based or not, getting in your raw greens just does the body (and skin) good. I have a sour palate because I grew up eating Persian food, which includes a lot of lemon, lime, and sour flavor. So this salad has a salty and sour taste–it’s so yummy! Find the full recipe here and my favorite salad dressing here.”

 

4. Dr. Alejandro Junger MD, Cardiologist and Best-Selling Author





“The Superfood Rainbow Salad is perfect for summer! It uses a rainbow of colors and is so fresh. Try this salad on its own, or pair with your favorite protein. For the full recipe, click here.”

 

5. DJ Blatner, Registered Dietitian Nutritionist and NOW Wellness Expert





“My favorite salad is a salad pizza with lemon-flax vinaigrette dressing. This super summery salad pizza is made with thin raw zucchini, arugula, tomato, fresh basil, and ricotta cheese and topped with lemon-flax dressing for a dose of healthy vegetarian omega-3 fats. Whatever salad doesn’t fit on the pizza, I eat on-the-side. For the full recipe, click here.”

 

6. Dr. Kristi Wrightson, ND, MS, RD





“This refreshing Cucumber and Hijiki Salad is a delicious alternative to the traditional seaweed salad. It contains hijiki, which is black seaweed that is used in many Japanese soups and salads. Hijiki is revered in Japan as a food that enhances beauty and adds strength and shine to your hair. It’s the most mineral-dense of all seaweeds, and the highest in iron and calcium. I love this salad because it’s easy to make, highly nutritious, and has the most yummy crunch. You can make it with dried hijiki, one large cucumber, half a red bell pepper, and green onions. Combine rice vinegar, soy sauce, finely minced ginger, olive oil, red pepper flakes, sesame seeds, and salt and pepper for the dressing, and enjoy!”

 

7. Brigitte Zeitlin, MPH, RD, CDN, Health Coach and Founder of BZ Nutrition





Source: The Infatuation

“My favorite salad is the Insalata Verde from Via Carota in the West Village, NYC. It’s such a simple green salad, and yet, it is so flavorful and filling. I always aim to have 2-3 cups of green veggies (raw or cooked), so this salad does the trick, and it is packed with filling fiber to keep me satiated. The variety of greens contain extra hydration (especially for hot summer days) and are a great source of folate for any mommas-to-be. Thanks to this NY Times recipe, I can recreate the salad at home.”

 

8. Lauren Twigge MCN, RDN, LD





“This Crispy Buffalo Chicken Salad combines a few of my favorite things: buffalo sauce, fresh veggies, and cilantro ranch. I love this salad because not only does it feature some of my favorite flavors, but the air fryer chicken nuggets add the protein content that takes this salad to the next level. Salads that keep you full for a few minutes are a thing of the past: with the protein from the chicken nuggets, the healthy fats from the avocado, and the fiber from all of these delicious vegetables, this salad will have you feeling fueled up and energized for hours.

To make, toss air fryer chicken nuggets with buffalo sauce, and then combine chopped romaine, cabbage, carrots, diced celery, and avocado. For a dressing, pulse together Bolthouse Farms Ranch Dressing and cilantro into a food processor until well-combined.”

 

9. Maya Feller MS, RD, CDN, and Cookbook Author





“I love this salad because the pairing of sweet, sour, and tangy flavors of in-season ripe tomatoes with peach and strawberry is just perfection. It’s also quick and easy to prepare, and bursting with nutrients. Find the full recipe in my book, The Southern Comfort Food Diabetes Cookbook: Over 100 Recipes for a Healthy Life.”

 

10. Dr. Steven Gundry MD, Cardiothoracic Surgeon and Best-Selling Author





“A Green Mango Lectin-Free Salad is so fresh and tangy, and has a delicious vegan salad dressing. Once you make this salad, you’ll never go back to boring old lettuce and ranch dressing again. For the full recipe, click here.”

 

11. Megan Roosevelt, RDN and Founder of HealthyGroceryGirl





“Caesar salad is one of my favorite salads, thanks to the the crunchy romaine and flavorful dressing. My go-to recipe has a delicious brazil nut dairy-free parmesan and a creamy egg-free Caesar dressing. Click here to check out the recipe!”

 

12. Dr. Poonam Desai





“I love what I call a ‘balanced’ salad, which includes veggies, protein, carbs, herbs, and even fruits. I do about 8-12 veggies (kale, spinach, onions, sugar snap peas, radishes, fennel, celery, carrots, beets, broccoli, tomatoes, avocados, etc.), a protein (chickpeas, lentils, bulgar wheat, tofu, etc.), carbs (like sweet potatoes or quinoa), herbs (dill, parsley, mint, basil, etc.), seeds and nuts (pumpkin, sunflower, walnuts, hemp seeds, chia seeds), and fruit (strawberries, dried cranberries, oranges). Many store-bought dressings have added sugar, artificial flavors, and preservatives, so I like to make my own. My go-to dressing is simple: apple cider vinegar, rice vinegar, extra virgin olive oil, a dash of celtic sea salt, and a little black pepper.”

 

13. May Zhu RDN, LDN, Founder of Nutrition Happens





“This Warm Salmon Citrus Salad is one of my absolute favorites because hits all three of my salad criteria: balanced nutrition, full of hearty textures, and packed with flavor. It’s a great balance of proteins, fiber, and leafy greens. You get high-quality protein from both the salmon and edamame to keep you full and satisfied for hours, and, once you cook the salmon, the salad comes together really quickly. It’s also versatile enough for those who are vegan, too: swap in tofu using the same marinade or take it out completely since the edamame has enough plant-based protein. For the full recipe, click here.”

 

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How to Use Bronzer In Your Makeup Routine

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Source: @istina.matters

The first beauty product you probably fumble with is bronzer. Maybe it’s too orange (even Selena Gomez admits to being there), maybe it’s muddy, maybe you just applied way too much—bronzer, in all, is tough to get right. But not all is lost. We’re making headway every day in the beauty industry toward better shade ranges, easier applications, and overall better formulations. While we wait, we’re sharing all the need-to-knows about bronzer: how to apply it, where to apply it, how to choose a shade, and more. Wondering how to use bronzer to finally enhance your features? You’ve come to the right place.

 

In this article

1
What is Bronzer?

2
What is Contour?

3
Where to Apply Bronzer and Contour

4
How to Choose A Bronzer Shade

5
What Bronzer Formula to Try

6
Matte vs. Shimmer

 

Meet the expert
Renee Loiz
CELEBRITY MAKEUP ARTIST
Renee Loiz is an LA-based makeup artist with over 20 years of experience. Her work has been featured on red carpets and in advertisements for brands like Target, Disney, and Urban Outfitters.

 

What is Bronzer?

Bronzer is a way to add depth and dimension to your face, especially when you’re wearing a full face of foundation. “Bronzers are warmer with a redder undertone and are used to warm up your face and give a sunkissed look,” said celebrity makeup artist Renée Loiz. The skin isn’t naturally one color. Whether naturally or from being out in the sun, we’ll always have a few different shades in different parts of our faces, and bronzer is there to alleviate that.

People often use bronzer to contour their face, adding shading and shadows to create a slimmer or more chiseled appearance. It’s also used to give a summertime glow, like you just got back from vacation.

 

What is Contour? 

On the contrary, contour products are for sculpting your face. You’ve seen makeup gurus contour their nose or TikTokers turn themselves into Harry Styles—all using contour. Contour is all about shading, so it’s typically a cool-tone, grayish color that mimics what a natural shadow would look like on your face, but you can also contour with a neutral bronzer depending on your skin tone and preferences. 

When you’re looking at a contour product, assume it’s a cool or a neutral tone, while bronzer might lean warm. 




Danessa Myricks Beauty

Balm Contour

This contour balm has a lightweight consistency that blends like butter—and the shade range is one of the best we’ve seen.

Shop it now




Kiko Milano

Sculpting Touch Creamy Stick Contour

This creamy stick contour comes in two cool tone shades that sculpt your face without making you look dry or ashy.

Shop it now

 

Where to Apply Bronzer and Contour

 

Bronzer

Where you apply bronzer all depends on the shade and the look you’re going for. If the shade is only a little darker than your skin, you can apply bronzer all over with a fluffy brush and a light hand to give a sunkissed glow to the skin. If the bronzer is more than one shade darker, then you’ll want to focus it in the “3E” method: around the temples, under the cheekbones, and under the jawline, creating a “3” and an “E” on each side of your face. This method is pretty foolproof. You often see people applying bronzer and contouring in little dots all over their faces or in complicated shapes, and while that works, it doesn’t have to be so elaborate to get results. 

“Don’t forget to sweep bronzer along your neck and chest to match your face,” Loiz suggested. 

 

Contour

With contour, your application might depend on your face shape and what you’re hoping to chisel. 

  • If you want a slimmer nose, apply contour in two lines on either side of your nose. The closer together the lines, the slimmer your nose will appear. 
  • If you want to enhance cheekbones, apply contour just above the cheekbone and blend down. Make sure to focus this far back toward your ear too. 
  • If you want to make your forehead appear smaller, apply contour to the top of the forehead and blend upward toward your hairline. 
  • If you want a more pronounced jawline, apply contour right on top of the jawline and blend down, underneath the jaw. To really make it pop, add a bit of concealer between the jawline and cheekbone to carve it out and make that area look really enhanced. 
  • To make your face appear shorter, apply your cheekbone contour in a vertical line and blend out toward your ears. 

 

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How to Choose A Bronzer Shade

Bronzer is about adding warmth and dimension, which is often why people can go overboard if they pick the wrong shade. When you naturally flush, what shade does your skin go? That’s the bronzer you should choose, according to Loiz. Choose a shade that matches how your skin would change if you spent a day out in the sun (before you started slathering on buckets of sunscreen). It’s all about looking natural and enhancing your skin, not covering it up or changing its tone. 

If you have a very cool undertone, a warm-tone bronzer will likely pull very orange on your face—a major no-no. In this case, you’ll want to opt for neutral or even cooler-toned bronzers that enhance your natural skin. This is also important for very fair skin. 

On the other hand, people with very warm undertones will need a warm, even leaning red, bronzer that matches the undertone in their skin. Cool contours might look muddy on their face, as if they just rubbed dirt all over their faces instead of makeup. 

As for depth, your bronzer should be one or two shades darker than your skin tone. If it’s any darker, it’s easy to go overboard. Any lighter, you’ll have to work pretty hard for the product to show up against anything else you have on your face. 

 

What Bronzer Formula to Try

 

Cream

Cream bronzer isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s typically a bit harder to blend, but it’s easier than ever to find a thin formula that’s seamless on skin. Loiz explained that creams have a “softer, sheerer” finish, so they can look a bit more natural once blended out. A few years ago, the only cream bronzer we knew of was Chanel’s Sol Tan De Chanel, an orange-y shade that only worked on light skin tones (now they have one other shade, but that only just released this year). Now, cream bronzers can be in vast shade ranges, in easy-to-use formulations, and in better packaging. 




Fenty Beauty

Cheeks Out Freestyle Cream Bronzer

This creamy formula offers a full range of shades for just about every skin tone. Our editors love this because it’s sheer and easy to use, making the application seamless and easy for travel.

Shop it now




Makeup By Mario

Soft Sculpt Shaping Stick

Sephora has been struggling to keep these in stock since they launched. With a built-in brush and easy-to-apply stick, this was made for beginners and anyone on the go.

Shop it now




Em Cosmetics

So Soft Multi Face Play

This cream stick bronzer has a creamy finish that glides over skin and blends in three seconds flat. It comes in three neutral bronzer shades and one cool-tone, greyish contour.

Shop it now

To apply a cream bronzer, use a stippling brush to apply it, and then blend with either the same brush or a beauty sponge. If your product is in a stick form, you can apply it straight from the stick, but it might be easier to blend if you apply with a light hand from a brush.




Fenty Beauty

Cheek Hugging Bronzer Brush

Easily place all of your products right in the contours of your cheek and jawline with this brush.

Shop it now




e.l.f. Cosmetics

Putty Blush Brush

Although this is marketed for blush, it’s the perfect brush for stippling on cream and liquid bronzers before blending with a sponge.

Shop it now




beautyblender

Original BeautyBlender Sponge

Blending in cream and liquid bronzer is one of the best uses for your beauty sponge. It’ll soften the edges and add a touch of radiance without using too much product.

Shop it now

 

Liquid 

Liquid bronzers are newer on the market, but they’re coming in hot with tons of new products launching just in the last year. A liquid formula is typically a bit runnier than a cream and comes in a tube or dropper. These are usually shimmery or radiant formulas to make your skin extra glowy, unlike a cream that can go both matte and shiny. 




Glossier

Solar Paint

This liquid/cream hybrid makes applying your bronzer on-the-go a breeze. It has a unique sheen that isn’t shimmery—but definitely isn’t matte either—that makes your face glow.

Don’t let the product images fool you. While these shades look majorly washed out in photos, IRL, they actually go quite deep.

Shop it now




Iconic London

Sheer Bronze Liquid Bronzer

If you want an all-over bronzey glow, this liquid bronzer will give it. This formula is unique because it’s sheer and can be mixed with foundations, primers, and moisturizers to give a bronze sheen to your whole face. But it also works wonders when built up with a brush and applied like a true bronzer.

Shop it now

Apply a liquid bronzer the same as a cream: using a stippling brush or beauty sponge. 

 

Powder

We all know powder bronzers. It’s probably the bronzer you’ve always used. But there’s a reason they’re still around. These bronzers are easier to blend than the others, and when you find the right shade, it’s basically a foolproof application. They have a bit more pigment, but the blendability makes them the most beginner-friendly.  




LYS Beauty

No Limits Matte Bronzer

This bronzer is perfect for beginners because it’s natural and one of the easiest to blend.

Shop it now




Fenty Beauty

Sun Stalk’r Instant Warmth Bronzer

No one was surprised when Fenty up and launched one of the best bronzer ranges we’d ever seen at that point, but it doesn’t make it any less memorable. This range has every depth and undertone down pat—even olive and deep cool. Loiz recommended this as well for the impeccable shade range that works for just about everyone.

Shop it now




Charlotte Tilbury

Airbrush Matte Bronzer

If you love Charlotte’s famed Airbrush Flawless Finish Powder, this bronzer has the exact same formulation, just in deeper tones. This makes it blurring on the skin and super blendable. Plus, this package is refillable—granted, the component is so large, I’m not sure who would ever use one up.

Shop it now




Physicians Formula

Butter Bronzer

There was a time where you couldn’t get through a drugstore favorites video on YouTube without this popping up. It’s still one of the most well-known bronzers, especially at the drugstore, because of its smooth texture, natural finish, and amazing coconut scent.

This bronzer, however, is definitely better for light and medium skin tones. Physician’s Formula, please add deeper shades to this range.

Shop it now

The key to powders is using the right tools, like a big, fluffy bronzer brush that will cover a large surface area.




Milani

Powder Bronzer Brush

This fluffy brush will offer pinpointed application as well as all-over coverage.

Shop it now

 

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Matte vs. Shimmer

Matte and shimmer bronzers offer different looks, but there’s room for both in a collection. 

A matte bronzer will focus on making you look sculpted and adding that dimension back into your skin. Matte bronzers are usually a bit harder to blend, as the formula isn’t as soft as something with shimmer might be.




Juvia’s Place

Bronzed Duo

Your skin isn’t just two colors—especially for those with deep skin. This bronzer duo lets you achieve a sculpted, bronzed complexion, combining both a warm and cool-tone bronzer to mix and match.

Shop it now




Benefit Cosmetics

Hoola Bronzer

Hoola Bronzer reigned surpreme for years and years, and now that they’ve finally begun to expand the shade range, it’s still making a name for itself. It’s smooth, easy to apply, and never looks muddy.

Shop it now




ELF Cosmetics

Putty Bronzer

Leave it to e.l.f. to make a cream bronzer at the drugstore with an adequate shade range. This rivals high-end cream bronzers, with its creamy finish and easy-to-blend formula.

Shop it now

A shimmery bronzer formula is all about the glow. You can usually focus a shimmery bronzer’s application higher on the cheekbones to act as a bronzer/highlighter/blush hybrid. They’re easier to blend into the skin, but if it has too much shimmer and not enough depth, you can walk away looking like a disco ball instead of a vacationer. 




Huda Beauty

GloWish Soft Radiance Bronzing Powder

Huda’s newest bronzer is for the person who wants to look like they just got back from Tulum. It’s ultra glowy, and the undertones look like you actually got a tan, but it somehow still looks seamless and natural on skin.

Shop it now




Tower 28 Beauty

Bronzino Illuminating Cream Bronzer

This tows the line between cream bronzer and highlighter, containing an ultra-glowy shimmer that never looks glittery or cakey. This bronzer adds just the right amount of color and shine so you truly can have that vacay glow all year ’round.

Shop it now




L’Oréal

True Match Lumi Bronze It Bronzer

Say hello to sunkissed skin without any sun damage. This bronzer has a silky texture that glides right onto skin and gives an all-over warm, healthy glow.

Shop it now

 

Everything You Ever Needed to Know About Applying the Perfect Blush

READ MORE

New to Eye Makeup? Here’s the Ultimate Guide to Everything Eyeshadow and More

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The Best Fall Jackets of 2021, Period

The Everygirl’s product selections are curated by the editorial team. If you buy something through our links, we may earn an affiliate commission, at no cost to you. We only recommend products we genuinely love.





Source: Aïda Badji Sané

It feels like the majority of us are waiting with bated breath for those first days that really feel like fall, but perhaps you’re someone who wants to hold onto summer, white-knuckled and rejecting any mention of a PSL or cozy knit. The thing that will get you to accept fall with open arms? The once-a-year fall jackets.

Each season has its perks, but one of fall’s main ones is the styling options that come with the jackets. It’s too early for the bulky coats of winter, but it’s crisp enough that you need an added layer, and that window is one that needs to be taken advantage of.

With rich tones and cozy textures and a world of outfit options to create with them, fall 2021’s jackets are here, and they came to make a statement. One look at these and you’ll be packing your summer clothes away without so much as a batted eye.

 

Cropped Blazers

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Blazers are considered a constant in terms of fall wear, but this year, there’s a twist: They’re a bit shorter than usual. Blazers that hit near the waist are not only the hottest take on the classic jacket but also one of the hottest pieces of fall fashion, period.

Abercrombie & Fitch

Cropped Blazer

Shop now

Missguided

Stone Cropped Blazer

Shop now

Abercrombie & Fitch

Tweed Cropped Blazer

Shop now

ELOQUII

Tweed Bolero Jacket

Shop now

ZARA

Textured Blazer

Shop now

ZARA

Buttoned Cropped Blazer

Shop now

Faux Fur

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There’s nothing like a fur moment for fall, and this year, fur is a bit shaggier than usual. With a bit more of a disheveled texture, faux fur is making jackets interesting and giving a 2021 twist to the classic shearling teddy coat. It gives a bit of excitement to any look and is easy to pull off.

Abercrombie & Fitch

Cropped Sherpa Shirt Jacket

Shop now

BB DAKOTA BY STEVE MADDEN

Faux Fur Teddy Coat

2 colors available
Shop now

H&M

Trench Coat with Fur Lining

2 colors available
Shop now

H&M

Faux Fur Coat

Shop now

ASOS

Hooded Faux Fur Coat

Shop now

ASOS

Faux Fur Shacket

Shop now

Bomber Jackets

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There’s something that feels nostalgic about bomber jackets, no? Whether it’s because of their resemblance to the classic letterman jacket or just because they always tend to circulate back into style, they feel like a piece of fall that we’re always happy to come back to. 

Abercrombie & Fitch

Faux Leather Bomber Jacket

2 colors available
Shop now

ELOQUII

Varsity Jacket

Shop now

BB DAKOTA BY STEVE MADDEN

Faux Leather Hooded Jacket

Shop now

MANGO

Checked Jacket

Shop now

ASOS

Faux Leather Bomber Jacket

Shop now

ASOS

Curve Faux Leather Bomber Jacket

Shop now

Shearling Trim

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In 2020, all anyone could talk about (or wear, for that matter) was the teddy coat, and for good reason. But this year, shearling is a bit more understated, with jackets having embellishments of it near the seams, collar, and cuffs instead of being the overall material. The result? A natural feeling of glam that we’re totally on board with.

BILLABONG X WRANGLER

Faux Fur Lining Jean Jacket

Shop now

BP Plus

Denim Trucker Jacket with Faux Shearling Collar

Shop now

ASOS

Panelled Blue Faux Fur Jacket

Shop now

ASOS

Black Fleece Shacket

Shop now

ASOS

Faux Suede Aviator Jacket

Shop now

ASOS

Sherpa Aviator

Shop now

Puffers

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We all probably have a puffer or two in our wardrobes, but this year, they’re a little more exciting than we’re used to. In fun patterns, saturated colors, and oversized fits, they’re the jacket you’re going to want to wrap yourself in day in and day out.

Abercrombie & Fitch

Vegan Leather Puffer Jacket

6 colors available
Shop now

Abercrombie & Fitch

Utility Puffer Jacket

2 colors available
Shop now

H&M

Cropped Puffer Jacket

2 colors available
Shop now

H&M+

Padded Vest

Shop now

ASOS

Washed Linen Puffer Jacket

Shop now

ASOS

Oversized Puffer Jacket

Shop now

The Only Boots You Need for Fall 2021
plus what to wear them with
READ ON

 

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The Best Hair and Makeup Looks at the 2021 Emmys

Anya TaylorJoy Yara Shahidi and Michaela Cole at the 2021 EmmysGetty Images

Although the stars definitely brought capital-L Looks to the Emmys last year — like Kerry Washington's super sleek bob and Rachel Brosnahan's kill cat-eye — that indescribable red-carpet je ne sais quoi was notably missing from the almost entirely remote ceremony. This year, with COVID-19 precautions still being taken, the Emmy red carpet is back, and with it comes so much more opportunity for celebrities to dazzle fans with their fashion, hair, and makeup looks.

It's our job to focus on the latter two (we love a gorgeous getup, but beauty is kind of our thing at Allure) so, as per usual, we've put together a roundup of the most creative, bold, fresh, intricate, trend-setting — in other words, our favorite — looks from the 2021 Emmys. As nominees, presenters, and other guests gather to celebrate TV's best, we're celebrating beauty's best. Here's what we're loving from the award show's long-await return to the red carpet.

Yara Shahidi

Yara Shahidi attends the 2021 Primetime Emmy AwardsGetty Images

Yara Shahidi was a truly gorgeous example of one of the biggest trends of the night: matching your eye makeup to your gown. Her off-the-shoulder Dior dress was clearly the inspiration for her shimmering green shadow, which reached around to her lower waterline and was topped off with a precise black wing. Her rosy cheeks and peachy-nude lips also got plenty of attention thanks to a sleek, pulled-back updo styled by Lacy Redway, who kept it in place with Nexxus Weightless Hold Ultra Fine Hair Spray. 

Michael Coel

Michaela Coel attends the 2021 Primetime Emmy AwardsGetty Images

Another, even brighter example of the matchy-matchy makeup trend at the Emmys: the eternally striking Michaela Coel. Her highlighter yellow two-piece ensemble was echoed by her winged neon eyeliner, which was layered above black eyeliner. Mauve cheeks and glossy lips let the bold swipes really stand out.

Anya Taylor-Joy

Anya TaylorJoy attends the 2021 Emmy AwardsGetty Images

It's not quite the same as matching your eye makeup to your dress, but it's arguably as bold, if not more so. Anya Taylor-Joy's pale yellow Dior gown is a nearly perfect match for her platinum-blonde hair, which elongates the already statuesque nominee by being in a crown-like, middle-parted updo created by stylist Gregory Russell. Her lipstick was the main element of her makeup that stood out — a bold Dior Beauty red that added Old Hollywood glamour to the vibe with the help of makeup artist Georgie Eisdell.

Elizabeth Olsen

Elizabeth Olsen attends the  2021 Primetime Emmy AwardsLOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA – SEPTEMBER 19: Elizabeth Olsen attends the 73rd Primetime Emmy Awards at L.A. LIVE on September 19, 2021 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Rich Fury/Getty Images)Rich Fury

If you're used to seeing Elizabeth Olsen's super long hair in her nominated turn in WandaVision, her Emmys look will come as a big — but beautiful — surprise. Adir Abergel used the GHD Curve Classic Curl Iron to style it in a sleek, slightly wavy, deeply parted lob hitting right between her chin and her shoulders, one side tucked behind an ear that revealed an incredible chandelier earring. Her muted brownish-berry lip — makeup artist Pati Dubroff combined Chanel Rouge Allure Laque in Fidélité and Le Crayon Lèvres Longwear Lip Pencil in Nude Brun — worked wonderfully with her moody, rust-toned eye shadow. 

Tracee Ellis Ross

Tracee Ellis Ross attends the 2021 Emmy AwardsRich Fury

Of course Tracee Ellis Ross's hair looked incredible at the Emmys — exactly what we'd expect from the founder of Pattern. Her voluminous curls were a red-carpet show stopper, sweeping her partially bare shoulders. She went for a more muted lip than usual, but no less beautiful — a soft brick-red shade.

Mandy Moore

Mandy Moore attends the 2021 Emmy AwardsRich Fury

When is a ponytail a bombshell updo? When it's worn by Mandy Moore with thick, piece-y bangs, that's when. The fringe was bookended by face-framing tendrils, glowing with the same subtle highlights that brighten the brunette of her long, loose, yet high-set pony. Like so many others at the Emmys, Moore did some makeup matching, too — but this time, makeup artist Kindra Mann paired her red dress with the perfect red lipstick: Beautycounter Color Intense Lipstick in Girls' Night.

Taraji P. Henson

Taraji P. Henson attends the 2021 Emmy AwardsRich Fury

We can't remember a single red carpet in recent history when Taraji P. Henson wasn't an instant member of our best-beauty-looks roundups, and far be it from the actor to fall short for the 2021 Emmys. Her lofty top knot flaunted tight curls, but the base of the updo was even tighter. She opted for subtle makeup, but her nails were among the boldest manicures of the night, with red gems covering the red polish on the pointed shape.

Angela Bassett

Angela Bassett attends the 2021 Emmy AwardsGetty Images

The iconic Angela Bassett never goes unnoticed, but she was especially eye-catching at the Emmys thanks to a voluminous ponytail that exploded out from the based of her sleek, side-parted base. Stylist Randy Stodghill created the look with the help of the Olivia Garden Ceramic + Ion Hair Dryer, which he followed with Phyto Phytolaque Solie for hold. Makeup artist D'Andre Michael ensured her eyes stood out with sparkle thanks to the Pat McGrath Labs Mothership III: Subversive Eye Shadow Palette. 

Kaley Cuoco

Kaley Cuoco attends the 2021 Emmy AwardsGetty Images

Kaley Cuoco was a vision in neon at the Emmys, but from the neck up, she was a masterpiece of romantic neutrals and soft, easy-to-recreate beauty. Her long, low, sandy blonde ponytail with bangs was created by stylist Christine Symonds using Hidden Crown clip-ins and prepped with Clairol Shimmer Lights Thermal Shine Spray. As for her makeup, "To complement Kaley’s show-stopping Vera Wang dress, we kept her makeup look soft and subtle," makeup artist Jamie Greenberg explained. "Charlotte Tilbury's Super Nudes collection helped to bring Kaley's natural beauty to life with a lit-from-within complexion, sultry eyes, and a naturally-pigmented nude lip."

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22 Amazing Brow Products Our Editors Can’t Live Without

22 Best Eyebrow Products of 2021 That Allure Editors Swear By

Getty Images

It doesn't matter if your face is graced with thin, sparse arches or the thick, bushy brows of Instagram dreams. Chances are an Allure editor probably has a brow shape similar to yours. We've spent hours and hours in front of tiny mirrors plucking our own (occasionally too much or saying goodbye to a unibrow once and for all) and sitting in the chairs of experts who thread, wax, and tint our arches. Some of us also can't leave the house without filling in our brows, which means we’ve tested basically every brow product on the market.

To share the knowledge gained from all our in-office and real-life experimentation, we’ve rounded up our favorite products for filling in, thickening, brushing out, and holding our brows in place. Everything is accounted for — powders, gels, pens, pomades, and pencils — plus the most genius tips and tricks we’ve learned from makeup artists (and each other) along the way on how to use our go-to tools. 

Ready to find your new favorite brow product? Keep scrolling to see our picks from brands like Benefit, Hourglass, Anastasia, and more.

All products featured on Allure are independently selected by our editors. However, when you buy something through our retail links, we may earn an affiliate commission.

Keywordseyebrowsbrow productsbrowsbrow fillerBrow gelbrow groomingbrow penbrow pencilAnastasia Beverly Hillsbrow productStilaMaybellineBenefit Cosmeticseyebrow pencileyebrow maintenanceeyebrow shapingeditor favoriteseditors picksMarc Jacobs Beautysisley paristartemilk makeupHard CandyUoma BeautyBeautycountershoppingshopping guideAllure Readers' Choice AwardsABB Products

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Is Imposter Syndrome Showing up in Your Relationship?






Source: Mental Health America | Pexels

You may have experienced imposter syndrome when you got a promotion or are started a new job, but the lesser-known imposter syndrome is the one that can show up in your relationship.

You might feel like your relationship is too good to be true, or that your partner will change their mind about you. Perhaps you feel like if you show your true self, your partner will no longer want to be with you. Imposter syndrome, also referred to as imposter phenomenon, was coined by psychologists Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanne Imes in 1978. Essentially, it refers to the belief that you are not qualified, or do not deserve your accomplishments, and have fooled others into thinking you are worthy.

In relationships, imposter syndrome is the recurring feeling that you’re not enough or that you accidentally deceived your partner into being with you. These feelings can show up in either long-term relationships or on first dates. Read on for how imposter syndrome might be showing up in your relationship, and how to (finally) overcome it.

 

5 ways imposter syndrome might be showing up in your love life

 

1. Questioning someone’s intentions when they ask you on a date

Picture this: You’ve been swiping forever and you finally match with someone who you’re actually excited about. Your small talk is great and you enjoy chatting to them, but then they ask you out. Suddenly, doubt creeps in and you begin to wonder if they are actually interested in you (Is it just a hook up? Did they think you looked a different way?). When you do go out on the date, you spend the whole time worrying they will lose interest or that you are letting down their expectations.

 

2. Doubting that they really want you to join outings (even ones they invite you to)

You’ve made it to the meet-the-friends-and-family stage of the relationship (exciting!), and your partner begins to invite you out to group activities and events. Maybe they’ll invite you to a hangout with their friend group or a birthday dinner for their sibling. You’re excited to take that next step, but you catch yourself wondering if they want you there, or if they are inviting you for another reason (Are they just being nice? Did their friends/family pressure them to invite you? Did you make them feel like they had to?). 

 

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3. Seeking constant reassurance of your partner’s feelings

Most of us have experienced insecurity if we don’t get “enough” reassurance. Maybe you only feel secure when your partner is reassuring you and verbalizing their feelings about you. For example, if they haven’t told you that they love you in a day you assume they changed their mind, or you assume something’s wrong if you don’t hear from them for a short period of time (even if they told you they’d be busy studying). While words of affirmation is an important love language, requiring a constant reminder of your partner’s feelings in order to feel secure is likely a sign of imposter syndrome that can lead to toxic patterns. 

 

4. Being aware of how other people view your relationship

Sometimes the imposter syndrome doesn’t only make you question how your date or significant other sees you, but how other people see you two together. Do you ever find yourself out with your partner or a new date and feel insecure about what people around you are thinking? Maybe you assume that your date is obviously out of your league and other people can see it, or you assume that your significant other’s family members or friends will think you’re not good enough for them.  

 

5. Changing behavior out of fear of your partner or date’s reaction

Ah, the games we play in relationships. Playing hard to get is all too common in dating (important side note: Stop playing games and go after what you want!). You may be thinking the person won’t be interested if you come on too strong, or maybe you censor your personal beliefs out of fear that your date will think less of you. But a healthy relationship requires honesty and open communication. Changing who you are for hopes they’ll like you more is not only destructive to your self-confidence, but it’s a complete waste of time. 

 

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4 ways to overcome imposter syndrome

 

1. Practice self-awareness and identify triggers

Once you pinpoint these feelings of inadequacy and begin to recognize them, you can tune into what triggers them. For example, do you always question your relationship after being around a certain friend or family member? Or maybe you have trust issues from a past relationship so not receiving a text for a certain amount of time triggers negative thoughts. Once you notice where these thoughts are coming from, strategize how to limit triggers. It could be a matter of setting boundaries with certain people who bring out insecurities, or simply communicating your needs to your significant other. Social media can be a common trigger too. If you find yourself comparing your relationships to the relationships you see on social media, reevaluate the accounts you follow and which ones not are serving you.

 

2. Communicate

The balance between opening up about your feelings but not requiring constant reassurance can be difficult. The key is to communicate worries to your partner in a way that makes them know you want to move past it and do not want it to get in the way of your relationship. A conversation with your partner about your doubts (and where they come from) may be enough to feel reassurance in the future, without needing them to constantly verbalize it again. Communication is key. Plus, your significant other is more likely to give you those words of affirmation in the future now that they know it is important to you, but more importantly, you won’t be holding in feelings, which can make any insecurities worse.

 

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3. Ask for help

While there are many steps you can take on your own to help improve overall confidence and improve the way you feel about yourself in your relationship, we don’t have to (and shouldn’t) do anything alone. Confiding in your friends or the people closest to you might help put your insecurities into perspective so you can see your relationship from an outside perspective, but a therapist or dating coach can help you overcome a lot of the negative thoughts or patterns holding you back. If all else fails and you don’t feel comfortable reaching out, imagine what the people you love would say. What would your mom tell you if you were worried your significant other was too good for you, or what would your best friend say if you needed constant reassurance? Even if you don’t believe it, the most positive beliefs will eventually replace the negative ones. 

 

4. Keep a running list of compliments about yourself

At the end of the day, imposter syndrome comes down to confidence and knowing what you deserve instead of questioning whether you deserve it. Instead of questioning yourself in relationship to your partner, focus on you as an individual. You know how people say to make a list of everything you want in a partner as a way to manifest your ideal relationship? Make one about yourself. Keep a list of everything you love about yourself and that you are excited to share with someone else, including all the things you’re proud of as well as all the wonderful things that make you unique. Write out all your favorite qualities and refer to them when you are feeling doubtful.

 

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